Living with the Unseen:

A Counselor’s Perspective on Invisible Illnesses

Professional headshot of Emily Brick, NCC, LPC, a therapist specializing in depression, anxiety, perfectionism, grief and loss, addiction, life transitions, and cognitive behavioral therapy.

By Emily Brick, NCC, LPC, Co-parenting Plan Mediator Certificate | Published: May 28, 2025

The Unseen Struggles of Everyday People

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As a counselor, I often sit across from people carrying pain no one else can see. They look “fine” on the outside—sometimes even thriving by all appearances—yet they’re fighting battles that are deeply real, exhausting, and often misunderstood. These are the stories of individuals living with invisible illnesses—conditions that aren’t immediately noticeable to others but impact every part of a person’s life.

What Are Invisible Illnesses?

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Invisible illnesses are physical or mental health conditions that aren’t visible to the eye. Unlike a cast on a broken arm or a visible surgical scar, these conditions don’t offer obvious visual cues. But that doesn’t make them any less real or painful.

Invisible illnesses fall into two broad categories:

Physical Invisible Illnesses: These include chronic pain disorders (like fibromyalgia), autoimmune diseases (such as lupus or rheumatoid arthritis), migraines, gastrointestinal issues (such as Crohn’s disease or IBS), and many more. Symptoms may come and go, vary in intensity, or persist quietly over time.

Mental Invisible Illnesses: Depression, anxiety disorders, PTSD, bipolar disorder, OCD, Schizophrenia, and many others also fall under the invisible illness umbrella. These conditions are often misjudged because emotional pain doesn’t manifest physically in obvious ways.

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Why It’s Hard to Live with an Invisible Illness

Living with an invisible illness is exhausting not only because of the symptoms, but because of the constant need to explain, justify, or hide your condition. When you look “normal,” people assume you feel fine — and that disconnect can be incredibly isolating.

You might hear things like:

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  • “You were fine yesterday.”

  • “You don’t look sick.”
  • “Are you sure it’s not just stress?”
  • “Maybe it’s just all in your head.”

These comments, though often well-meaning, can feel invalidating and dismissive. You start to doubt yourself or feel guilty for not being able to keep up. The emotional toll can be just as heavy as the physical one.

Invisible illnesses often come with unpredictability. One day you can function, the next you can’t get out of bed. Canceling plans, missing work, or needing extra rest can make you feel unreliable — even when you’re doing everything you can.

Many people with invisible illnesses become experts at masking their symptoms. They push through pain, smile through anxiety, and show up when their body is screaming for rest. But this “performance of wellness” takes a toll both physically and emotionally.

It’s not just the illness that’s hard — it’s navigating a world that doesn’t always understand it.

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Coping with an Invisible Illness

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Coping with an invisible illness isn’t about “fixing” it — it’s about learning how to cope with it in a way that supports your well-being, preserves your energy, and protects your peace. It’s a personal and often evolving process, but there are tools that can help you move from surviving to truly managing your condition.This involves:

  • 1
    Validate Your Own Experience: The first step is internal: giving yourself permission to acknowledge that what you’re going through is real and hard — even if others don’t see it. You don’t need external proof to justify your pain or fatigue. Tuning into your body and mind with compassion, rather than judgment, lays the groundwork for healing.
  • 2

    Pace Yourself: People with invisible illnesses often push themselves to meet the standards of a world built around health and productivity. This can lead to burnout, symptom flare-ups, and guilt. Learn to recognize your limits, honor your body’s signals, and give yourself breaks before you crash. This concept is often called “pacing” in chronic illness communities — balancing activity with adequate rest.

  • 3

    Track Your Symptoms: Keeping a journal or using an app to log physical or emotional symptoms can help you spot patterns. This not only helps in managing your daily routine but can also be a valuable resource when speaking with doctors or therapists.

  • 4

    Mind-Body Practices: Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, and gentle movement (like stretching or yoga) can calm the nervous system and reduce the physical and emotional toll of stress. These tools don’t replace medical treatment but can significantly improve quality of life when practiced regularly.

  • 5

    Connect with Others: Living with an illness that others don’t see can be isolating. Online support groups, chronic illness communities on social media, or even local meetups can help you feel less alone and more understood. Sometimes, just knowing someone else gets it is incredibly healing.

  • 6

    Set Boundaries Without Guilt: One of the hardest but most powerful coping skills is learning to say no—to events, people, or activities that drain you. This isn’t selfish; it’s essential self-preservation. Your energy is a limited resource, and setting boundaries protects it.

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How Counseling Can Help You Cope with an Invisible Illness

Counseling offers more than just a space to talk — it provides tools to rebuild, reframe, and reclaim your life in the face of something that often feels uncontrollable.

  • Emotional Support Without Judgment: Many clients with invisible illnesses share how exhausted they are from explaining themselves to friends or family. In therapy, there’s no need to “prove” your illness. You’re met with belief, empathy, and understanding. Just being seen and heard can be incredibly validating.

  • Managing Anxiety, Depression, and Grief: Living with chronic illness often triggers waves of mental health challenges: the anxiety of unpredictable symptoms, the depression of lost dreams or limited independence, and the grief of a life that looks different than you expected. A counselor helps you process these emotions and build tools to manage them without being overwhelmed.

  • Shifting Negative Thought Patterns: It’s easy to internalize societal messages that say “you’re lazy,” “too sensitive,” or “making excuses” when you’re dealing with an invisible illness. Therapy can help challenge those thoughts and reframe them with compassion. You learn to speak to yourself as you would to a friend: kindly, supportively, and truthfully.

  • Communication & Advocacy Skills: Therapists can help you practice how to talk about your illness with others — from asking for accommodations at work to setting boundaries with loved ones. Learning how to advocate for your needs confidently (and without guilt) can change how you experience your daily life.

  • Customized Coping Strategies: No two invisible illnesses — or people — are the same. Your therapist can help you create personalized coping plans based on your unique symptoms, lifestyle, goals, and values. This might include building routines, practicing mindfulness, identifying emotional triggers, or creating emergency plans for flare-ups.

  • Flexible Options: In-Person or Telehealth: Telehealth has made counseling more accessible than ever — and for those with fatigue, mobility issues, or anxiety, that can be a game-changer. Whether it’s from the comfort of your couch or face-to-face in an office, therapy adapts to meet you where you are, both physically and emotionally.

We strive for diversity across the globe

We strive for diversity across the globe

We strive for diversity across the globe

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Frequently Asked Questions About Living with Invisible Illness

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Q: What is an invisible illness?
A: An invisible illness is a medical or mental health condition that isn’t outwardly visible to others. This includes things like chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and autoimmune disorders. While symptoms may not be seen, their impact is very real.

Q: Why don’t people believe me when I say I’m struggling?
A: Because you may look “fine” on the outside, others often don’t understand what you’re managing internally. This misunderstanding is common, but a counselor can help validate your experience and support you in navigating these challenges.

Q: How can therapy help with a chronic or invisible illness?
A: Therapy offers emotional support, helps with coping strategies, and teaches skills to manage stress, pain, or isolation. It’s a safe place to process grief, frustration, or guilt — and to build resilience.

Q: What if I’m too tired or unwell to attend in person?
A: Mount North offers flexible telehealth options, so you can get support from home. Whether you’re experiencing a flare-up or just need the comfort of your space, we’ll meet you where you are.

Final Thoughts

Coping with an invisible illness is a daily act of courage. You are doing more than most people know, and you deserve support that honors that truth. Whether through counseling, community, or simply giving yourself more grace — you are not alone.

If you’re looking for a space to talk, to decompress, to process and rebuild, I encourage you to reach out. Your story matters.

Take the Next Step Toward Feeling Seen and Supported

At Mount North, we specialize in supporting individuals living with invisible illnesses — whether you’re navigating chronic pain, fatigue, anxiety, or emotional burnout. Our personalized counseling approach helps you build tools to manage symptoms, reduce stress, and reclaim control. Let’s create a plan that honors your energy, supports your healing, and reminds you that you’re not alone.

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